A dear friend of mine told me about an article she found to educate herself on what to say to Jack and I as we were having “bumps” in the road. I was so impressed that she took the time to do something like this and had no idea there would be information out there. If you know someone going through fertility issues, this is a helpful read. I don’t know if this is the same article but here is something similar.
Not everyone is the same and know it’s a sensitive topic. Often times, one doesn’t realize you are saying something insensitive and I get it, you meant well. Trust me, we have thought of all the alternatives. Until you are in these shoes, you will never really understand; I don’t understand it at times myself. I have found I am the only one of my friends that is going through fertility struggles; so that is why I have joined online support groups. Statistics: 1 in 8 struggle with infertility.
Thankfully I am not angry when anyone I know announces their pregnant. I don’t want anyone to have go through this. I am very happy for my friends to get pregnant naturally! At times, it can be hard as I have watched several friends go on to have a 2nd baby and I feel like I’m on the sidelines watching. I won’t lie, there have been many tears and we have been tested with patience. We will have been doing IVF treatments since early 2015, not counting the time trying to conceive naturally. We hope our time will come and will remain hopeful.
Another great article about things you don’t know about someone going through IVF. If I could tell my younger self one thing, if you are in your early 30’s and want kids; consider harvesting your eggs. As you get older, your eggs age; so it’s a good option if you are able. Better yet, there’s a great documentary called One More Shot on Netflix that explains the journey and helps you understand what we are going through. It’s almost like my bible when I need someone to understand me.
I know there so much out there to worry about but think for a moment before you ask personal questions to others. It may seem harmless; but it is a sensitive topic to many people. For example, most may not realize if you tell them you have had miscarriage(s) or having a hard time getting pregnant, the first words out of your mouth is to solve for by saying have you thought of adoption or surrogacy or “just relax”? Think before you say as often times this has been considered and there are a lot of costs involved. The process isn’t easy and going through infertility is already hard enough.